The Cone of Shame

Those who have been to our home know that we have a very friendly Miniature Schnauzer named Andre. Andre has had some pretty serious chronic ear infections since he was about 6 years old. It is something we were told was normal for him & that he would probably have them off and on for the rest of his life. Well today Andre went in for his vet check up (he had been scratching his ears to the point of bleeding) and to get groomed. 

The vet called around 3:00 to let us know that Andre was almost ready, but that his ears were so irritated and inflamed that they couldn't see his eardrums! Hopefully when we go back next week his ears will be cleared up and they can verify that his ear drums are still intact. The good news is that all the blood work they did came back with great results! With the exception of his ears Andre is a very healthy 11 year old dog!

So $300 later we have our sweet boy back home, lots of meds to give him, and he has to wear a cone of shame for a week!

Excuse me while I brag a bit...

I have heard of so many women whose husbands, boyfriends, or partners are jerks or just do stupid stuff during the pregnancy. While Jeff is far from perfect, and I still have my moments where I look at him and think "Really???? WTF dude?!?!?!" I have been amazed at the way he has been stepping up lately and expressing his love to me, the girls, and our family.

When I was pregnant with Chloe we were living with my parents and Mom was there to do pretty much everything I needed help with. When I was pregnant with Hannah Jeff and I were going through a really rough period in our marriage and most of the time it was a mutual lets just get by & do what we have to do. With this pregnancy Jeff and I are much closer, we have grown individually and together as a couple. Part of what helped us through our rough time was Gary Chapman's 5 Love languages book and marriage seminar. Through that we learned how to really see when one of us was expressing their love and how to communicate it in a way the other person can understand. (For those who have read the book my expressions are physical touch and quality time. Jeff's expressions are acts of service and words of affirmation.)

Over the past few months I have been having a rough time with hip pain, the kidney infection, being tired, and not physically being able to do what I think I should be doing. My schedule has also been crazy almost to the point of being stressful at times b/c I have too many balls I have had to juggle. There are times when I will be bent over rocking my hips to relieve some of the pain; Jeff will see me and take a few minutes to rub my low back & hips. The other day we had been shopping and I was exhausted and my feet hurt. Without me mentioning anything to him he gave me a foot massage... I can't remember him spontaneously doing that with either of the previous pregnancies!

Jeff has also started helping me with some of the household things. I have come home several times to find that he has unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. He took initiative with my spring cleaning list of things that need to be done and even did some of the things that I had planned on doing myself. I now know that those times he washes the dishes, mows the lawn, makes the bed, cleans the floors, and even when he lets me take a nap by keeping the girls quite he is really saying how much he loves me and how valued I am to him. So today I want to thank him publicly.


Jeff I appreciate all of the little things you do around the house, the time you spend with me, the time that you take for our girls, and all the other little things you do that others may take for granted I treasure and value! Thank you for stepping up and being a great husband and Daddy!!!

Reminiscing

As I was preparing for bed last night I looked at the clock and thought, "What was I doing 4 years ago right now?" I can still vividly remember the night of May 14 though the next day until 8:00pm. I have to say it was the hardest and most emotional day of my life. It was the day after Mother's Day.

On Mother's Day we had spent a couple hours at the hospital with with my Mom, the doctors said she was doing better and even moved her from the cardiac ICU to a private room so the grand kids could see her. Other than being in the hospital it was the perfect Mother's Day for Mom... almost all of the family with her, surrounded by love and little girl's giggles. I called her room later that night and we talked about the baby (I was pregnant with Hannah), how I was feeling, the upcoming induction, who was going to take care of Chloe since she couldn't, and how Jeff would bring her pictures of Hannah as soon as he could. I never thought that when we said goodnight that would be the last time I heard her say, "I love you."

The next day, May 14, was a roller coaster of events. Dad called first thing to tell me that something was wrong with Mom and he was on his way to the hospital. I relayed his msg to everyone I could and asked them to start praying. Some updates sounded positive, but later in the day they seemed grimmer and grimmer. When we dropped Chloe off at Jeff & Michele's house Michele gave me a hug and said that she was so sorry. I don't remember what I said to her, but inside I was thinking don't say that or hug me like this... because if you do it really does mean that she is dieing! Instead of going out on a last date before the baby as we had planned Jeff and I headed up to the hospital. 

Shortly after we got there it was determined that there was little to no chance of Mom being able to ever get off life support... even if she ever did regain consciousness. We were all gathered around a table in a circle, and as I looked around I knew we were all thinking the same thing, but not wanting to actually say it. It was time... Mom made it very clear to all of us that if she was ever put on life support & there was no hope of her getting off of it to live a normal life then we were to pull the plug. She didn't want to "live" that way.

Everyone at the hospital took turns going back to say their final goodbyes before they took her off of life support. Once the deed was done the immediate family was allowed to go back to spend the last few minutes with her. Dad prayed and then we sang Amazing Grace, to my knowledge it was Mom's favorite hymn, and when we sang "Praise God, praise god, praise god..." I felt the room take a deep breath, looked at the clock (shortly after midnight), and her monitors ( one last blip and then nothing), and knew that she was gone.. no longer in pain, reunited with loved ones, and most importantly with God. Now that isn't to say that I wasn't hurting our mourning her, but I knew she was where she was meant to be.

Jeff and I headed home to prepare for Hannah's birth... we would only get a couple of hours of sleep, but it would have to be enough. With Jeff in bed, my bags all packed, and the house quiet I took a shower. I allowed myself to cry through the whole shower, but I knew that once it was done I had to stop and focus on the little life inside of me. If I didn't Mom would have had a fit... her grand babies were the most important things in the world to her!

When we were at the hospital the nurses gave Jeff a hard time about going to sleep on the couch while they were prepping me for the induction. I told them to let him sleep because we had a hard night and there wasn't anything for him to do now, but I would need him later. One of the staff came in to draw blood. She was a nice enough woman, but half way through the polite conversation she started complaining about her mom. She had given her mom flowers for Mothers Day, but they weren't the right kind and her mom was upset that she hadn't gone to visit. I turned my head and started crying... it hurt to know that I wouldn't ever be able to complain or vent about my Mom again... she wouldn't ever be able to do the little things that annoyed me again. The lady asked me if she had hurt me, and when I said no she wanted to know why I was crying. I told her what we had just been through, and I encouraged her to take the time to go see her mom... because you never know when you won't have the chance to do it again. The poor lady looked devastated, and kept apologizing to me.

Word slowly spread through the floor about what happened and my doctor asked me if I wanted to stop the induction. as much as I wanted to say yes I also knew it was time. There was a reason for Hannah to be born on that specific day.... so we continued on. I had several people visit me in the hospital during my labor. Most of them I hadn't seen in years and wondered how in the world they knew I was there. To this day I don't know how they knew beyond the SGC grapevine, but I am thankful that each one of them visited me. They were all women who had known me as a child and in a way were "fill in Moms" when my own Mom couldn't be there to hold my hand or talk me through a contraction.

At 7pm on the nose our little Hannah Lee was born... such a sweet blessing to our lives on a day that should have been filled with sadness. There are so many times that Hannah will do something or say something that is so much like Mom it almost hurts. When Hannah was a month old I can remember holding her, crying and being upset that Mom wasn't with me and would never get the chance to hold her. At one point I noticed that Hannah was looking over my shoulder just grinning away, and then I got a chill down my spine. From that point on I knew that even though Mom may not be physically here that she was still with us, looking over her babies, and loving every minute of being where she was.

So for those that have been given the luxury of still having your Mom around please take the time to give her a call, a hug, an e-mail... something to express your love to her... you never know when it will be your last chance.

One of Mom's engagement photos.

Mom at my wedding.

Mom holding Allie at Chloe's birthday party. (This is the last picture I ever took of her.)

Me holding Hannah the day after she was born.

I love you Mom!!!!

Happy Birthday Hannah!

Today my little Hannah-nanna turned 4 years old! It seems like just yesterday I was snuggling with my little baby, how is it that she is four already?!?!?!?

Over the last few months I have noticed that she has been looking and acting less and less like a toddler and more like a big girl. Her newest comment has been, "I'm not a big kid yet, but I am growing up fast so I can be one soon!"

I know it won't be long until she is a teen, and yearning to be an adult... so for now I will treasure her sweet smiles, her awesome hugs, and try not to kill her when she is being as stubborn as I am! LOL

Here are a few fun pictures from today's Dora themed birthday fiesta!

Play time with home made play-dough... what color you ask? Why ORANGE of course!!! It is Hannah's favorite color!

Per Hannah's request Dora's Backpack & Map birthday cake... I'm not too happy about the shape of it, but Hannah loves it.

Piñata time!!!! Hannah gave it 3 solid whacks and almost decapitated Dora!

Happy 4th birthday Hannah!!!

Mommy & Daddy love you very much!!!!

24 Weeks

Well today was my 24 week check up. All went well, the baby is growing like a weed, the heartbeat is strong, and all of my stats are good. One thing different about this pregnancy is that I am actually gaining weight!!! Typically I lose weight, but with this little one I have gained a total of 9 pounds! While I know most moms out there scoff at a 9 pound weight gain, it is a little disheartening to me. My doctor isn't worried and told me that I am doing just fine, but still... 9 lbs! /sigh

Last month when I went in to have my sono the baby was stubborn and decided that we didn't need to know the gender yet. So this month the sono tech squeezed me in for a minute to see if we could see any boy/ girl parts.

For those that have a hard time seeing what is in the sono pics, you are looking at the baby's thighs (knees pulled to chest) and bottom, similar to the view you would have changing a diaper. You can see the baby's head on the bottom right of the picture, and one little hand at the top by the knees.


It was a pretty clear view today that baby #3 is little girl!!!

Playing catch up

So I am a bit behind on my blog posts!!!! So please bear with me as I do some catching up.

Bluebonnets

One of our favorite things to do in the spring is to take family pictures in the bluebonnets. I know it is torture for some kids, and the only time I can remember Mom & Dad making me take pictures in the bluebonnets I ended up crying and angry at Dad. none the less it is typically a fun thing for our girls b/c we take the pictures with some of their cousins... so it is like a play date for the little ones, and a gab session for the older ones!

Easter

Easter is such a fun holiday! This year as we were dying the eggs Chloe asked me why we celebrate Easter... not just because of candy, but WHY do we choose that day to be different and special. I have to admit that for a moment I was speechless b/c I didn't expect her to phrase her questions in such a way. After a moment I explained the Christian belief behind Easter, how the Jews in the Old Testament were commanded to take little lambs to the temple and make a sacrifice in order for their sins to be forgiven. However we don't have to do that because Jesus was our lamb and when He did the curtain separating us from God was ripped in two and all we have to do is ask Jesus to live in our hearts and wash away the sin.

She then wanted to know why we color eggs and search for them on Easter. Without going into a lot of detail on here... Chloe and I had a long discussion about our Easter traditions and what they mean. At times I am surprised by the depth of the questions she asks, but at the same time I am thrilled that she is asking and searching for answers!


Around 2 am on Easter morning I woke up for the ritual pregnant lady has to pee moment... unfortunately I noticed that the house was rather warm. The storm we had roll through the night before knocked out our power! After waking Jeff to help shut down the computers and check on things I remembered the clothes that were in our dryer and my only thought was, "Please let them have finished drying before we lost power!!!" Unfortunately they hadn't, and with the power still out at 7:30 the girls opened their Easter baskets by flashlight.

The song I had stuck in my head all day was "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say REJOICE!" It was very appropriate because I could have been frustrated by all my plans being changed and starting the day off badly, but instead I had a happy heart and we ended up having a lovely day!


Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a very hard day for me. I spent several hours in the days leading up to it sneaking off for a private moment because I simply needed to cry and vent without little ones knowing about it. This was the first year that I didn't have my Mom or my Grandmother to go visit. While this may not be a "big deal" any other time of the year it really sinks in on Mother's Day and I have to take some time to mourn them and what I lost when they passed away.

This year Bethany and Andrew had our girls spend the night, so I had the luxury of sleeping past 8:00!!! After this lazy Momma got out of bed I was given a very nice Mother's Day gift. Jeff and the girls found an arch/ trellis for my roses to grow on! So Jeff and I put it together, started training the rose bushes to climb it, and planted some strawberry baskets!

After that we went to Calloways and found a few plants to add to the front garden, picked up the girls, and had a lovely lunch with Bethany!



All in all it was a very relaxing and lovely Mother's Day!